Why do we press harder on a remote control
when we know the batteries
are getting weak?
Why does someone believe you when you say
there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest,
but ducks when you
throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word
"lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there
still apes?
Does a clean house indicate that there is a
broken computer in it?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on
sale?
Why do people constantly return to the
refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a
dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine
it, then put it down to
give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from
the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those closed
light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch
something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock
something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as
warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you
try doing it like your wife
told you to do it?
And obviously if at first you don't succeed,
then don't take up sky diving!
If a "Fool" and his money are soon parted,
where did the "Fool" get the money in the first place?
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