Insuranse Jokes

-->An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade.
"I can't stop!" she shrilled. "What should I do?"
"Brace yourself," advised her husband, "and try to hit something cheap."

-->Two women are playing golf when one of them ask the other, "Do you and your husband have mutual climax?"
The other woman replies, "No, I think we have State Farm."

-->Life insurance agent to would-be client: "Don't let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonight. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know."

-->Confucius Say: Never argue with an idiot client. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

-->Q : What's the difference between an Actuary and the Mafia Don?
A : The Actuary can tell you how many people will die this year. The Mafia Don can tell you the names of all of them.

-->A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"
"I've got a kickstand," the prospect replied. "Is that the same thing?"

-->Life insurance agent to would-be client:
"Don't let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonight. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know."

-->Do you know the present value of your husband's policy?" the life insurance salesman asked his client.
"What do you mean?" countered the woman.
"If you should lose your husband, what would you get?" asked the salesman.
The woman thought a minute, then brightened up and said, "Probably a poodle."

-->Insurance agents never retire, they just expire.
Insurance agents are premium lovers.
Insurance agents do it with third parties.

-->A woman was in the hospital after feeling very ill. The doctor says to her, "I have some bad news for you. You only have three months to live."
"Oh that's terrible," the woman sighs, "what am I going do?"
The doctor replies, "Marry an insurance agent."
"Will I live longer?" asks the woman. "
No," replies the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer." ----Insurance Jokes